Jam rritur n\u00eb nj\u00eb familje t\u00eb emancipuar dhe shum\u00eb fisnike. Personazh\u00ebt familjar\u00eb q\u00eb kan\u00eb ndikuar n\u00eb nd\u00ebrtimin e karakterit tim dhe filozofis\u00eb jet\u00ebsore i num\u00ebroj me shum\u00eb krenari: gjyshet e mia, babi dhe mami, nga t\u00eb cil\u00ebt n\u00eb mesin ton\u00eb kam vet\u00ebm mamin. Mami, nj\u00eb grua super e men\u00e7ur, \u00e7doher\u00eb shprehej si p\u00ebr an\u00ebtar\u00ebt e familjes, poashtu edhe p\u00ebr gj\u00ebrat materiale n\u00eb shum\u00ebs – f\u00ebmij\u00ebt tan\u00eb, sht\u00ebpia jon\u00eb, n\u00ebnat tona (p\u00ebr gjyshet). \u00c7do gj\u00eb q\u00eb kishim konsiderohej e p\u00ebrbashk\u00ebt, k\u00ebshtu q\u00eb me at\u00eb narrativ jemi rritur un\u00eb dhe v\u00ebllau: nuk dinim p\u00ebr ndar\u00ebsi dhe nuk vepronim me individualiz\u00ebm. Nuk kam par\u00eb asnj\u00ebher\u00eb nga prind\u00ebrit e mi t’i ndanin gj\u00ebrat dhe pun\u00ebt. N\u00eb sht\u00ebpin\u00eb ton\u00eb nuk kishte ndar\u00ebsi t\u00eb pun\u00ebve sipas gjinis\u00eb. Mbaj mend q\u00eb edhe lojrat me v\u00ebllaun i kishim t\u00eb p\u00ebrbashk\u00ebta. \u00c7do gj\u00eb funksiononte n\u00eb rregull dhe nuk kishte konflikte, mbase sepse prind\u00ebrit na mbronin nga \u00e7do kriz\u00eb dhe \u00e7do problem eventual. Babi dhe mami shpeshher\u00eb shpreheshin: \u00e7do gj\u00eb p\u00ebr \u00e7ka punojm\u00eb, e b\u00ebjm\u00eb q\u00eb ju t\u00eb dy t’i g\u00ebzoni bashk\u00ebrisht. \u00cbndrra ime jet\u00ebsore ishte q\u00eb gjith\u00eb jet\u00ebn t\u00eb jem e lumtur me jet\u00ebn, veten dhe pun\u00ebn. Nuk e mendoja ndonj\u00ebher\u00eb kriz\u00ebn materiale, sepse prind\u00ebrit na kishin mbrojtur nga k\u00ebto momente.<\/p>\n
Pas vdekjes s\u00eb babit tim Mero, humbi dhe nj\u00eb pjes\u00eb e lumturis\u00eb sime. M\u00eb 2 tetor t\u00eb vitit 2017 ishte dita m\u00eb e kobshme n\u00eb jet\u00ebn time, ishte dita kur kuptova se m\u00eb par\u00eb nuk kisha p\u00ebrjetuar asnj\u00eb moment t\u00eb keq n\u00eb jet\u00ebn time. Meq\u00eb prind\u00ebrit kan\u00eb krijuar pasuri n\u00eb Kroaci, me thirrje zyrtare nga Gjykata themelore duhej q\u00eb n\u00eb janar t\u00eb vitit 2018 t\u00eb paraqitemi p\u00ebr zhvillimin e procedur\u00ebs trash\u00ebgimore. N\u00eb vitin 2019 inicuam procedur\u00eb trash\u00ebgimore edhe p\u00ebr pasurin\u00eb n\u00eb Maqedonin\u00eb e Veriut. Me v\u00ebllaun dhe mamin as q\u00eb e diskutuam \u00e7\u00ebshtjen e ndarjes, sepse ishte tem\u00eb tanim\u00eb e vendosuar nga prind\u00ebrit se \u00e7do gj\u00eb do t\u00eb ndahet n\u00eb pjes\u00eb t\u00eb barabarta: duhej vet\u00ebm formalisht te realizohet e nj\u00ebjta.<\/p>\n
Megjithat\u00eb, nuk isha p\u00ebrgatitur p\u00ebr at\u00eb q\u00eb vinte pas. Pas ndarjes s\u00eb pasuris\u00eb, u p\u00ebrballa me nj\u00eb mori t\u00eb shara dhe kritika si nga familjar\u00ebt, koleg\u00ebt poashtu edhe nga miqt\u00eb, madje edhe nga disa student\u00eb (meq\u00eb ligj\u00ebroj l\u00ebnd\u00ebn e t\u00eb drejt\u00ebs trash\u00ebgimore dhe shpesh marr veten si shembull kur flasim p\u00ebr ndarjen e pjes\u00ebve n\u00eb rendet ligjore t\u00eb trash\u00ebgimis\u00eb). Akuzat ishin t\u00eb nivelit shum\u00eb t\u00eb ul\u00ebt: \u201cN\u00ebse ma b\u00ebn motra ime mua k\u00ebt\u00eb, ja mbylli der\u00ebn\u201d; \u201cE ke gllab\u00ebru hisen e v\u00ebllaut, ja ke d\u00ebrgu burrit\u201d; \u201cPaske qen\u00eb nj\u00eb mot\u00ebr katile\u201d; \u201cSi e pranoi v\u00ebllau yt, a vazhdoni t\u00eb jeni n\u00eb raporte t\u00eb mira\u201d; \u201cNuk ke p\u00ebr ta g\u00ebzuar kurr\u00eb\u201d; \u201cA t\u00eb flet v\u00ebllau?\u201d;\u00a0 \u201cUn\u00eb asnj\u00ebher\u00eb nuk do t\u00eb ja kisha b\u00ebr\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb v\u00ebllaut\u201d; \u201cT\u00eb shofim si do ndjehesh ti kur do merr hise motra e burrit t\u00ebnd\u201d; \u201cSi t\u00eb la burri ta b\u00ebsh k\u00ebt\u00eb budallaki\u201d; \u201cA nuk t\u00eb vjen r\u00ebnd\u00eb dhe turp nga v\u00ebllau\u201d; \u201cUn\u00eb n\u00ebn\u00ebn time nuk do ta kisha l\u00ebn\u00eb dajallar\u00ebve t\u2019ua b\u00ebje k\u00ebt\u00eb\u201d; \u201cVajza q\u00eb merr hise, meriton t\u00eb lihet si qeni pas dere\u201d, deri tek: \u201cUn\u00eb ja kisha shkul flok\u00ebt motr\u00ebs sime\u201d, dhe shum\u00eb e shum\u00eb kritika dhe akuza t\u00eb tjera. Edhe atyre q\u00eb ju p\u00eblqente ky veprim i imi, nuk e deklaronin dot shprehimisht, se mos po ju ngelet hatri v\u00ebllez\u00ebrve, prind\u00ebrve.\u00a0Mir\u00ebpo nga gjith\u00eb k\u00ebto akuza dhe mallkime, n\u00eb asnj\u00eb moment nuk p\u00ebrmendnin mamin tim, sepse normal sipas\u00a0 \u201cvlerave\u201d tona zakonore pas vdekjes s\u00eb burrit t\u00eb sht\u00ebpis\u00eb, mas\u00ebn pasurore e merr djali: as n\u00ebna e assesi motra.<\/p>\n
N\u00ebse m\u00eb pyesni a jam ndjer\u00eb keq? Jam ndjer\u00eb keq p\u00ebr faktin q\u00eb tek t\u00eb rinj\u00ebt dhe tek jurist\u00ebt ende sundon mendimi patriarkal n\u00eb aspektin e pron\u00ebsis\u00eb. A jam ndjer\u00eb keq q\u00eb “ia kam p\u00ebrgjysmuar” pasurin\u00eb v\u00ebllaut? Shpesh kur ja tregoj v\u00ebllaut k\u00ebto lin\u00e7ime, ai qeshet dhe m\u00eb thot\u00eb: \u201cArta, ne jemi shum\u00eb t\u00eb privilegjuar q\u00eb prind\u00ebrit tan\u00eb kan\u00eb punuar gjith\u00eb jet\u00ebn q\u00eb ne t\u00eb dy t\u00eb mund t’i ruajm\u00eb dhe kultivojm\u00eb k\u00ebto t\u00eb mira\u201d.<\/p>\n
Nj\u00eb gj\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb shum\u00eb evidente: ne grat\u00eb si gjini jemi shum\u00eb tolerante, ua lejojm\u00eb t\u00eb gjith\u00ebve t\u00eb shprehen me shum\u00eb guxim dhe t’i japin vetes t\u00eb drejt\u00eb t\u00eb na tregojn\u00eb si t\u00eb vendosim p\u00ebr t\u00eb drejtat tona, t\u00eb na kritikojn\u00eb kur t\u00eb duan dhe p\u00ebr \u00e7ka t\u00eb duan. Nj\u00eb di\u00e7ka m\u00eb dhemb shum\u00eb – ende vazhdojn\u00eb n\u00ebnat t’i edukojn\u00eb bijat e tyre q\u00eb ata nuk duhet t\u00eb marrin hisen q\u00eb ju takon, ajo \u00ebsht\u00eb dhe do t\u00eb mbetet e v\u00ebllaut. Andaj dua me t\u00eb gjitha vajzat dhe studentet e mia t\u00eb ndaj storjen time t\u00eb trash\u00ebgimis\u00eb, q\u00eb asgj\u00eb e keqe nuk do t\u00eb ju ndodh n\u00ebse e marrin at\u00eb q\u00eb ju takon nga prind\u00ebrit. N\u00ebse v\u00ebllau juaj ju respekton vet\u00ebm pse do t\u00eb ja leni pjes\u00ebn trash\u00ebgimore, nuk ju duhet ai respekt. N\u00eb aspekt t\u00eb ligjit por edhe para Zotit t\u00eb gjith\u00eb jemi t\u00eb barabart\u00eb. Nuk besoj, dhe nuk dua ta mendoj q\u00eb ka prind\u00ebr q\u00eb ndajn\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebt e tyre, at\u00ebher\u00eb pse f\u00ebmij\u00ebt t\u00eb ndahen n\u00eb mes veti. Mos vendosni veten n\u00eb pozicionin e t\u00eb n\u00ebnshtruar\u00ebs, as si bij\u00eb e dikujt, as si n\u00ebn\u00eb, e as si bashk\u00ebshorte. Sa respekt do t\u00eb tregoni fillimisht ju p\u00ebr veten, n\u00eb at\u00eb nivel do t\u00eb ju respektojn\u00eb edhe t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt. Nj\u00eb nga pankartat m\u00eb t\u00eb ve\u00e7anta n\u00eb marshin e sivjetsh\u00ebm p\u00ebr 8 Marsin ishte ajo q\u00eb mbajti vajza ime: \u201cHisja jote s’ka pse e idhnon vllaun\u201d.<\/p>\n
Jam rritur n\u00eb nj\u00eb familje t\u00eb emancipuar dhe shum\u00eb fisnike. Personazh\u00ebt familjar\u00eb q\u00eb kan\u00eb ndikuar n\u00eb nd\u00ebrtimin e karakterit tim dhe filozofis\u00eb jet\u00ebsore i num\u00ebroj me shum\u00eb krenari: gjyshet e mia, babi dhe mami, nga t\u00eb cil\u00ebt n\u00eb mesin ton\u00eb kam vet\u00ebm mamin. Mami, nj\u00eb grua super e men\u00e7ur, \u00e7doher\u00eb shprehej si p\u00ebr an\u00ebtar\u00ebt e […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12,"featured_media":10459,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[370],"class_list":["post-10458","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-marre","tag-tregime-pjeshkash"],"yoast_head":"\n